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Wednesday, March 26, 2003 |
I'm so excited about adoption. What thrills me the most is thinking "Our children are already alive. They are just in a different country." The first time I thought about this was just amazing. I thought I'd get over the feeling shortly, but it's been a few weeks and I still feel that way! I can't describe what joy this brings me.
posted by AnnMarie at 9:12 AM |
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TIP: "Gifts -- women love chocolate and perfume. Men like whatever they can drink. I don't know if this fits in with the charity you are working with but Sara usually brings London Gin -- as it looks expensive, but isn't really. I think the key thing is for the gift to "look" expensive." (From Elizabeth, a friend whose neighbor Sara is Russian.) This matches what others have said. Also cosmetics for the women.
posted by AnnMarie at 9:09 AM |
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My friend Joan went to Europe or Russia a few years ago for three weeks. She traveled solely with one carry on. For three weeks. Gives me hope that I could also do so. On the second trip, we'll have to check luggage since we'll have car seats for the trip back. But if I could actually pack in just a carry on (one of those wheeled ones, of course)....that would be a miracle. I always try to pack light, but never seem to do so. But customs would be so much easier with just one smaller bag!
posted by AnnMarie at 6:29 AM |
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Wonderful book to recommend: The Waiting Child: How the Faith and Love of One Orphan Saved Another by Cindy Champnella. It's the story of Jaclyn and her baby. Cindy and her family adopted Jaclyn at age 4 in China. In her orphange, Jaclyn had taken care of a younger child, Xiao Mei Mei, who she considered her baby. Almost as soon as she left the orphange, she began campaigning for her parents to adopt Xiao Mei Mei. Cindy took on her crusade to find this little boy a family. Although heartbreaking at times, it is wonderfully heart warming as well! An amazing story of how children who weren't comforted or loved still managed to show these emotions to other children.
posted by AnnMarie at 5:54 AM |
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There haven't been recent updates because I was at a conference for a week. Paperwork has been dribbling in and out. Received the NJ birth certificates last week--much quicker than expected (6-8 weeks!), which was nice. Sent them off for apostilles. The marriage certificates that I once thought Eric had gotten too many of....we need another one already! I can't believe how many copies of some of these documents we need.
posted by AnnMarie at 5:50 AM |
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Friday, March 14, 2003 |
I've seen and heard in a number of places that early intervention services are free (including the FAQ linked in the previous post). (Early intervention services are almost always suggested for post-institutionalized children. At the very least, you want to have your child reviewed just in case. If there are an problems--health, emotional, speech, etc.--they provide a variety of services.) In WI, it's called the Birth-3 Program. It's not free--there's a sliding fee based on income. I wonder if other states have fees or if we are the only one. (A question for my message boards!)
posted by AnnMarie at 11:55 AM |
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TIP: A great list of what to bring near the bottom of Russian Adoption FAQs (question 10). The rest of the page is also a great intro to adoption in Russia.
posted by AnnMarie at 11:51 AM |
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A family who adopted from Russia sells Russian folk dolls that are handcrafted in St. Petersburg. Reminds that I have a Russian doll--well, a doll dressed in Russian clothing--somewhere. I think the dolls are still at my parents. I also have a Spanish and wedding doll in the "collection" plus two dolls that were Mom's when she was a child. The cultural and wedding dolls came via Gramma Paulukonis or Nana Lutkus. The Russian one could be Lithuanian instead. I really don't know.
posted by AnnMarie at 11:24 AM |
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taxes and forms
posted by AnnMarie at 8:20 AM |
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things to buy
posted by AnnMarie at 8:18 AM |
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Someone on the FRUA board shared the journal of their recent trip. It covers all 5 days in Russa and includes some great photos of the orphange. also some good lessons learned. (Note: Their timeline is different from all the others I've seen. This was their first trip and they had the court date already. They return in a few weeks to take their daughter home. The usual timeline is first trip, return home, the return for court take and bring child home.)
posted by AnnMarie at 7:59 AM |
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Wednesday, March 12, 2003 |
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Tuesday, March 11, 2003 |
Apossible concern with children in Russia is Fetal Alcohol Sydrome (FAS) or Fetal Alcohol Effects (FAE). Some websites have scare stories that make it sound like almost every adopted child is likely to have FAS. Stories from actual adoptive parents paint a different picture. However, our agency strongly recommends that we know as much as possible before we meet our referrals. We can decline a referral (that is, say no, this isn't the child we want to adopt) for medical reasons. Eric has experience with infants and toddlers with FAS, but I need to learn more.
FAS characteristics
FAS Community Resource Center
posted by AnnMarie at 1:01 PM |
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Monday, March 10, 2003 |
Good intro to intercountry adoption from the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse. Except that it completely skips over the lengthy homestudy process. Otherwise, very informational.
posted by AnnMarie at 12:42 PM |
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Perhaps our girls will be interested in attending Concordia Russian Language Camp when they are older. I wish I had known of them when I was a kid--I would have loved to go. On the other hand, it's not cheap, and we hope to send them to private school, too. Other places host culture camps--I think specifically for children adopted from a specific country. Those would definitely interest me as well. Concordia does language and culture--it's a total immersion program. The culture camps are not language camps. (Thanks to Anne for suggesting this. She noted that they offer a Korean camp especially for children who were adopted. Since Russia is second only to China in the number of children adopted by Americans, perhaps there will be a Russian one soon.)
posted by AnnMarie at 9:15 AM |
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Yesterday after church, I got to meet two adorable children who had been adopted in Russia in Sept 2001. Peter was 11 months and Anna was 2 1/2. They weren't siblings, but were in the same orphanage. I talked for about five minutes with their parents, Rick? and Alice. It took them just about 9 months from application to adoption. That's the same amount of time we hope for. Both children are doing very well. Anna had more trouble with English; she already was understanding Russian when she came. Peter, however, had a very smooth language transition. That's about all I learned. I hope to talk with them more. It was great to see some children in person! (I need to get together with Sheryl still--she and her husband adopted last May. Their daughter is 1 1/2. Sheryl works here on campus--we had a chance a few weeks ago to talk and share information. We want to get together with our husbands and their daughter so we can all meet!)
posted by AnnMarie at 6:31 AM |
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Sunday, March 09, 2003 |
Info on getting apostille certificates in WI. Every item in our dossier has to be notarized (except photos). Every notarization needs an apostille. An apostille is an official certificate confirming the existence of a particular notary public or public officer, who has signed the document. Each certificate costs $10 in WI. We will have about 12 documents in each dossier. I've heard we need two dossiers.
Ah, yes. Birth certificates also have to be done. SD (a bargain at only $2!) and NJ...hmmm. Okay, after finding two other references, a webpage will info on all states gives me a link to the NJ Department of Revenue's info on apostilles! (The other places suggested the Secretary of State, with two different locations and numbers. Boy is it hard to get info from NJ.) Oh, this is nice--if it's for adoption, the fee is only $5; all other instances, it is $25.
Luckily, WI does not require the original document. SD and NJ do. So--more expensive, but at least we don't have to mail as many papers in. I'm starting to understand why it takes people so long to assemble their dossier! And why it's problematic if they have to suddenly produce another one. I'm pretty sure we need two dossiers. We're making up 3. I think I'll even apostille that third one. Spending an extra $100 is worth not having to rush or worry if we need an extra. I've also seen the suggestion to bring a dossier with you to the court hearing, just in case. I'm so glad I know this upfront and am not preparing just one!
posted by AnnMarie at 10:39 AM |
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Friday, March 07, 2003 |
Baby names
We get asked quite frequently if we have chosen names for our children. No, we haven't. We plan to wait until we know their given names. Then, we might keep that name or Americanize it. At the least, we figure we will make it their middle name. We have explored female Russian names and there are a number we like, so we might choose a different, but still Russian first name. And then again, we might choose something completely different. Parenting.com has an interesting
Create-A-Name applet. Unfortunately, Russian isn't one of the categories, but Slavic is fairly close. It's fun to try! (Thanks for my father-in-law Les for the link!)
posted by AnnMarie at 10:59 AM |
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Thursday, March 06, 2003 |
Birth certificates were ordered yesterday--did it online through VitalCheck. SD was much more expensive--$10 per certificate, but will take only 10-15 days. NJ was cheap--$4 for the first certificate and $2 for each additional. But they could take 22 business days.It does cost extra to do them online--$10 for SD and $5 for New Jersey. But I was done in about 10 minutes. Well, NJ also required a copy of a government issued ID (driver's license), so I had to fax that in this morning. But much faster than printing and mailing forms. We are almost done with requesting documents. Just a fax to NJ for Eric's local police check. The driver's checks from MI arrived yesterday--ordered them Friday. That was fast!
posted by AnnMarie at 5:44 AM |
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Wednesday, March 05, 2003 |
I messed something up in the html coding on this site and am having trouble fixing it. Please come back later if things are unreadable!
posted by AnnMarie at 12:29 PM |
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According to RussianRegions, CHI operates in the following regions (links take you to a map and brief almanac info. Check the links on the left side for lots more links and info): Chelyabinsk Oblast (Zlatoust), Kemerovo Oblast (Novamoskovsk, Novokuznetsk), Moscow Region (City of Moscow, Podolsk, Taldom), Novosibirsk Oblast (this is where LSS also worked), Primorsky Krai/Primorye (Vladivostok, Ussuriysk), Smolensk Oblast (Safonovol, Verkhov’ye), Tomsk Oblastm, Tver Oblast (Tevaskyaya, Kashin). (I trust this site, as it's updated frequently. Should wait to hear from CHI for sure.) Too bad they aren't in Tuva. I would have like to have visited Tuva; but then, again, Richard Feynman didn't get to either.
posted by AnnMarie at 11:46 AM |
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Monday, March 03, 2003 |
Took care of most of the background checks on Friday (I took the afternoon off). It took about two hours--everything except 3 of Eric's from NJ are taken care of. Michigan was soooo easy! Driver's check--done on an automated phone line. The other 3--all at one office and all we had to do was mail a letter (and $3 per check per person). NJ: having a lot of trouble there. Two calls to make today--one for a form to be mailed (wish it were available online!) and the other to see if that office can do the other checks. Rather aggravating, still, that we had to do this. We firmly believe the homestudy agency should take care of this (time and fees) given we were told their fee covered everything! I wonder if we have that in writing?
posted by AnnMarie at 8:29 AM |
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On Saturday, we attended an informational seminar on CHI down in Chicago. (2.5 hour drive one way for a 2-hour seminar...but someone else drove 5 hours!). Our opinion remained the same and we handing in our application at the end. New details:
Referral time for a boy is a couple months, for a girl a little longer. For siblings, not long at all. For siblings with an infant girl, probably a little longer. So we are figuring 3 months. Referral comes after the dossier gets sent, which is after the homestudy is done. Those two will take about 3-4 months. Therefore, we could be home with our children in 9 months! Once again, I am struck by the thought that at least one of my children is already alive! Probably both of them! (If we get infant twins, it's possible they haven't been born yet.)
CHI gives out no information on your children before you meet them. This is actually Russian law, but others are circumventing it. This is one of the things we like about CHI. Yes, we'd rather have a photo, a name, and medical info beforehand. But not if it's against the law! (However, if we get siblings as hoped, we might have info on them. They are usually a different case. We are going to expect nothing.)
posted by AnnMarie at 8:25 AM |
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